It's Not About Me, It's About Them

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. - Ephesians 6:4

I am intensely intrigued by this instruction. Notice what it doesn't say. It doesn't tell fathers to control their anger and to honor God. Instead, this scripture focuses on the children. "Don't make them angry. Teach them to honor and obey God." It's not about me, it's about them.

We can see this contrast in different approaches to discipline. An easy rut to fall in is disciplining for the sake of discipline, justice, and sustaining the rules. "You broke the rule, now you must suffer." While disciplining, have you ever thought, "This might be unfair and unreasonable, but rules are rules?" It happened to me today.

Your behavior will be different if you approach discipline from the perspective of the child. "He just hit the kitten with a stick.... again. How can I teach him to be nice to animals?" "I want him to stop playing in his milk, but he doesn't seem to understand why it's a bad thing. Is it a bad thing?" I don't ask myself those questions often enough. I would be a better parent if I did.